Day Six in Vienna: Aka The day I went to Bratislava, Slovakia and ate broccoli.

I know. I know. So glamorous.

59So it was a very early start- getting up at 6am, having breakfast at 6.30 and then being picked up at 7.30 by TourRama’s minibus.

We were taken to the drop off point, and then boarded a coach- it only took about an hour to reach Bratislava. Once we arrived, our guide met us and our first stop was up to the castle.

I didn’t take a photo of the castle, because it wasn’t super impressive. But here’s a man in the ground.

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There’s a lot of quirky public art in Bratislava, and there’s also a lot of gothic décor.

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We walked around the old town for a while with our tour guide until he dropped us off at our lunching spot.

Now, as the lunch was included in the tour package, you’d think it to be, you know, good, right?

Wrong.

Here’s the thing about Café restaurant Zichy: They’ve already been paid, by the tour company, therefore they can serve absolute rubbish and get away with it.

Which is why, I assume, they chose to serve the cheapest possible meal and make the largest possible profit margin.

Ahem. Presenting:

A slice of cheese, with smoke whipped cheese inside, rolled.

61Followed by, for the Carnivores; dry, rubbery chicken, gruel mushroom sauce, and wet, wet, mush rice.

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And for me? Oho. You’ll love this.

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That, my friends, is a plate with rice, broccoli, and a slice of tomato. Yes. They literally substituted the chicken with several pieces of broccoli.

There wasn’t even a sauce.

I basically got really angry, because seriously, SERIOUSLY? What is this? 1970?

Even when the restaurant brought out some gruel sauce, I can’t say I was content.

Things got worse with dessert.

And I say dessert, but really now, it was too pathetic to deserve that accolade.

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When they decided to serve this, I’m pretty sure this is how the thought process must have gone:

OHO? What shall we serve those stupid tourists? They can’t complain, because the tourguide representative is gone, and they’ve already paid! We shouldn’t give them something fresh. Or edible. No. We’ll save those dishes for real customers! I know! Let’s give them four day old, stale, store bought cake! And to cover up it’s utter bin-worthiness, we’ll spritz on some cream in a can, and squirt some chocolate sauce! Yes! Perfect!

Needless to say, I didn’t eat mine.

On top of this, the restaurant was incredibly dishonest- we were told to order drinks, without ever seeing a menu. When it came to the bill for those, we were grossly overcharged- being reserved and English though, nobody said anything, of course.

Anyway. It was just awful.IMG_1232

To make myself feel better, I obviously had to go straight for ice cream when we had free time.

Admittedly, it did cheer me up, but only a little bit.

Ah well.

The last part of the trip was the journey home- along the river Danube on a delightfully air conditioned boat. Probably made the whole trip worth it, because it was an hour and a half of awesome.

Still, once back in Vienna, I was immensely grateful to be once again surrounded by beautiful buildings and restaurants with edible food.

For dinner, we returned to Zum Bettlestudent. Lovely Zum Bettlestudent.

The Carnivores both went for the lumberjack potatoes- the cheesey, cheesey potatoes, with lardons of bacon. Served in the pan with a giant fork. Like a boss.

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I went for something lighter~ mozzarella, tomato, pesto and olive salad.

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Not going to lie, I chose this primarily so I could justify buying some more Korean food en route back to the hotel.

Hurrah for greed and currysalat!

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So that, my dears, was day six.

Stay tuned for Day Seven, coming tomorrow!

Places {and services} mentioned:

Cityrama tour guide.

http://www.cityrama.at/ {Bratislava day trip, €69pp}

Café restaurant Zichy.

9 Venturska, Bratislava, Slovakia   (Staré Mesto)

Zum Bettlestudent.

Johannesgasse 12, Vienna 1010, Austria (Innere Stadt)

 

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